Posting Messages that Suggest Intent to Self-Harm or Commit Suicide: Guidelines and Consequences

The following information is based on the third guideline of the Users' Agreement:

3. All forums are based on a self-help model. Members may post messages of support and share strategies they have found helpful in coping with their life circumstances. Members may post messages requesting support from fellow members, however do so in full awareness other members may or may not be available to offer that support at any given time. The members of the forum cannot take the place of individual therapy work or face-to-face support groups; they can support you but they cannot help you to change behaviours or to move out of a crisis. It is therefore unacceptable to post messages indicating an intention to injure oneself or to committ suicide. It is the responsibility of each member to find professional help. It is also important to note that members may post messages of support but it is inadvisable to take on the role of therapist/counsellor/advisor in the forum.

Messages that suggest an intent to commit suicide or to hurt oneself are not acceptable. We have developed a policy that provides consequences for such postings. The following are guidelines as to the type of messages that would lead to enforcable consequences:

• any suggestion that you are going to hurt yourself
• any suggestion that you have just hurt yourself
• any cry for help that requires an immediate response but contains no explanation (this is not a chatroom or talk line where help is immediate)
• any suggestion that you are going to try to end your life
• any suggestion that you have just tried to end your life
• any message in which you say good-bye without giving a reason such as a vacation or move

The issue is the effect such a message will have on the other forum members. It threatens the sense of safety for all members within the forum. It is extremely difficult for someone else to read that you are hurting yourself but be unable to do anything to help you. It leaves others, who care about you, feeling very helpless. It is unfair for us to put our friends in healing in this position when we can avoid it. It causes too much hurt; it triggers too easily.

Even when you feel so desperate, you must take responsibility for your own feelings. If you are feeling suicidal or feel the need to hurt yourself, it is critical that you call for help! Call a crisis line in your area; call a friend who can come to help you; call a hospital; call the police. Look for someone who can actually help you. Do not look for help from people with whom you only have internet contact. They cannot help you. Plan ahead of time, so that when those feelings overwhelm you, you will be able to put your plan into action. Have the appropriate phone numbers readily available.

If you do post a message about feeling suicidal or feeling the need to hurt yourself, you must let the other members know that you are talking about how you feel, and that you will not act on it. Try to be very clear about this, so that others do not worry unnecessarily, and so that your message is not misunderstood. If you are someone who has these feelings a lot, it might be reassuring if you share with others what you have done to prepare for the occasion when these feelings might get out of control and you need to ask for help. Please note: It is imperative that you label a message about suicide/self-hurt by including something like "warning - suicidal feelings" in your subject line. This is so that someone else who is feeling suicidal can avoid your message if they need to.

This policy may seem harsh, however, the emotional impact on such a large number of vulnerable people warrants such seriousness. The consequences of posting any messages that suggest an intent to commit suicide or to hurt oneself are:

• first time, no warning, immediate suspension for 30 days
• second time, no warning, immediate suspension for 3 months
• third time, no warning, permanent suspension

The forums are a great place to give and receive support. We hope that this information helps you to understand why it is so important that you do not post any messages that suggest intent of suicide or self-harm. We urge you, if you have any need, to be prepared for the times when you do need to call for help. The purpose of these guidelines is to aid you in knowing what to expect when you use the forums; we hope this policy never has to be enforced.

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