he sang “deliver me” as he wrapped himself up in my body i remember it smelling like urine upside down in the darkness father, you really know how to woo a woman doesn’t this make you want to die got myself stuck in another situation is it really anyone’s fault should i cry to my mother tell her things i don’t recall why does he love me this way why does he hurt me inside why does he open me up and let me fall from great heights do i have to be eighteen and must i be something beautiful i held the gun and you you held me tight and if i could have moved would i have what about the things i don’t recall the spaces in between the night died drunk and the morning i was born naked and scared i never had innocence but i had pride in who i was now who i am is ashamed what about the cuts on my knees what about the nights that i can’t sleep what about the way he opened me up and let me fall from great heights but i have love and she sings to me when i can’t find it in myself to sing and though she will never know or understand she loves me the way she should love me and mr. matches never asks anything of me but my own happiness so why remember why hurt everything i love the way he hurt me why rape the minds of those who can’t imagine the rape i feel what is rape is it violent or can it be deception can i remember saying no to a stranger with a knife to my back or do i remember someone i trusted tricking me is it my fault that i couldn’t see the devil until i awoke naked and disoriented

girl

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