A lot of us live with echoes in our lives--the old words imbedded in the shadowed crevices of our minds. You know the kind. They're like a cassette tape you've re-recorded over ... the ghosts of the original words or music are never really quite gone--they're hidden, but nonetheless, they hiss there in the background, reminding the listener every now and then of what was even though every effort's been made to erase it from being.

We play the tape, maybe often, because we like to hear what we or someone else with our permission, has newly re-recorded. Maybe the new words or music bring some comfort, or affirmation, or a little relaxation. Still, we wonder why something in it also leaves us on edge. It's the hiss, the din, in the background! Others listen to the tape, not hearing it. But we do. Because we know what was there.

I know these tapes. I've re-recorded many. They say "good, lover, trust, sleep...". They replace the old tapes I had no choice but to hear before, but it seems no matter how exacting I am in my re-recording, I still hear the ghost echoes: "bad, bitch, liar, fear...". One of the best things about being a "woman of the nineties", is that technology is becoming my friend. Now, there are C.D.s. I look forward to replacing my old acetate with shiny disks. And slowly, those around me -- my lover, my friends, are being "digitally mastered to exacting standards" to take the place of the ghost echo filled tapes. It can't happen fast enough for me, but mostly, I'm just glad that it's happening.

Copyright 1995, may not be re-printed without express permission

Sage

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