Why Didn't You You heard the teapot's whistle That announced the water's hot And the oven timer's buzz For the treats that you forgot. You watched the 6:00 news each night For the stories of the day And zucchinis in the garden As they spread their vines all ways. You smelled the scent of daffodils That grew on the property line And stinky Old Spice aftershave That you thought smelled just fine. You tasted sugar sweetness Of midnight milk-n-bread That filled a hungry belly While the others were in bed. You felt the summer's sweltering heat That brought sweat upon your skin And savored sweet summer raindrops As they fell with gentle wind. If you heard the teapot's whistle Why didn't you hear me cry? If you saw the evening news Why didn't you see me fly? If you smelled the daffodils Why didn't you smell my fear? If you tasted sugar sweetness Why didn't you taste my tear? If you felt the summer's heat Why didn't you feel my pain? "Why didn't you?" Is now my heart's refrain. Little One I run through the forest searching for you hoping to find you behind the next great oak or towering pine i call for you but still you hide cowering behind switches and leaves of false content and confidence i know you're hiding in the thicket vying for cover with the other unknowns as you are ever distrustful in a flash you sprint to another protective bough and slip beneath its cover 'til next you take a chance with the dangers of the woods and peep out from the bracken and grasses White Linen She hears my silent cries My hidden fears And without judgment She listens to my lamentations. As my archives unfold She accepts every word Every thought Anticipating the tears. And the dark pigment flows Onto her white linen pages Etching the images Of rents and abrasions As I am etched By shards of betrayal Past and new. And with each intimate passage Respectful silence assures me Of her unspoken promise That my trust in her Will be honored And I can close each entry Knowing I am not alone. Ravaged Thoughts of self-hatred pound these walls ~ fat and ugly ~ ~ incompetent and useless ~ ~ boring and undesirable ~ Flashbacks give life to my fears ~ criticism ~ ~ rejection ~ ~ betrayal ~ A need for numbness drive my addictions ~ drink and forget ~ ~ binge and starve ~ ~ cut and bleed ~ Thoughts, flashbacks, and needs … Leave me ravaged. Permission Denied I submit a request to myself for permission to reveal my needs, my anger, my self, to be free of these chains that hold me in this pit of anguish. PERMISSION DENIED!!

Wheezer

The Recovery Canada - The Wellness Network Writing Collections are provided as a service to the users of this site to enable them to share their journey. Prior to reading or posting your writing, please read our disclaimer, copyright notice and privacy statement. Use of any part of the Recovery Canada - The Wellness Network website constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions of each of the above mentioned documents. All Rights Reserved.