POETRY FROM THE HEART

These poems (5) are a few written during my most intense healing period. I endured much childhood abuse of every form. I have seen great relief as my healing has taken me to new places I never knew before. Some of these poems are raw and intense and yet each contains the seed of hope for healing and peace. I will add more from time to time.

CHOOSE

If I may choose my path to take
And what I may become
I'd choose to walk the rocky path
And open from the numb

I'd choose to climb the mountain tops
To view the universe
And then descend to deepest depths
To understand the curse

I'd set aside my worldly ways
And open to the truth
I'd let that truth remold my frame
And anger I'd forsooth

I'd choose my new form built with love
And honor for the one
Who needs a touch of care and help
I'd brighten like the sun

And finally the thing I'd choose
Above all these great good things
I'd choose to choose and not to wait
For fate and what it brings

FORGIVE

Forgive is not a word to use
Without a conscious thought
Of pain and fear embedded deep
Which anger here has brought

Forgive can mean a lot of things
Or nothing true at all
For if you mean to do this deed
You first must learn to crawl

Forgive can never truly come
With pride pushed out in front
But only when so deep inside
For love you've come to hunt

Forgive is not to soothe their guilt
From deeds which damage deep
For even though you give this gift
They still must learn to weep

Forgive is for your own dear peace
As burden you lay down
For if you carry on without
You'll never reach your crown

Forgive them all, each one alone
Still conscious of the past
And let them go, these awful hurts
Then you'll be free at last


FRIENDS

I met a man upon the road
A man I've known awhile
He stopped and talked and honored me
I gave him back a smile

He seemed to care about my needs
And offered help and love
I felt so good to have a friend
I thanked the Lord above

But then my fears rose up to smite
These feelings with despair
If I'm not worthy to be loved
Why does this man show care

What plans has he of my good side
What way will I be used
I'm better not too close to him
To hold back from abuse

I say goodbye and walk on down
The road still all alone
No one to share; no one to care
I stifle a deep groan

For feelings are my nemesis
I fear to let them show
Cause feelings get me more abuse
And bring me down so low

So if you see me on the road
And ask me how I feel
Don't be hurt if I withdraw
Until someday I heal


DREAM CHILD

Once I dreamed a childish dream
Of playing in the sun
Of meadow green and trees of shade
And having lots of fun

I didn't know the child I saw
I didn't see the fear
I saw no pain etched in his face
His eyes were dry and clear

What kind of life has this child had
What knives of hate were missed
To play so freely without fear
He must be loved and blessed

He must not know the secret threats
Of silence he has none
He must not feel the guilt and shame
From no one he must run

I wonder what his life is like
To not recoil from touch
I wonder at his trusting ways
For me it's just too much

His mother must cherish him with love
His father must protect
His neighbors watch him while he plays
He never knows neglect

His ribs are whole, without the rod
His feet have not been bruised
His innocence remains intact
He doesn't seem confused

He runs without the pain down there
He's never felt the rape
His insides function like they should
No gunshot wounds do gape

He has no rage built up inside
He seems to run so free
There's no rejection bends his back
How strange he's not like me

I awoke from dream with troubled heart
And know I never shall
Run and play with innocence
I know this very well

Perhaps I can, though, help this child
Perhaps my story told
Will keep him from the horrors felt
Will break abusers' mold


THE DAWN

I've seen the song of sunset
I've heard the colors roar
I've felt the awesome majesty
Which makes my spirit soar

The wonder of creation
Brought down on bended knee
Awaits the dawn's redemption
To rise again so free

My soul, too, waits in hoping
For healing's light and power
For days which ban the darkness
From which my child must cower

The mountain top first sees the dawn
And glows to tell below
That light of day shall surely come
And vanquish darkness foe

My healers teach me not despair
But courage as I reach
Into the past with terrors deep
And touch the wounds from each

For dawn will surely come to soul
And warm its coldest fear
Will heal the ugly gaping wounds
And dry the wettest tear


These poems are all Copyright 1994 and 1995 by Lee E. Davis. All rights reserved. Reproduction is expressly prohibited.

Lee

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