This is a book I read fairly early on in my recovery. When I was struggling to understand what was happening in my life - why I was so immobilized by flashbacks and the fear that went with them and trying desperately to come to terms with CSA, this book (and another written by this author - "Unchained Memories") helped me understand that it was not my sanity that needed to be questioned, but my history.

Slightly academic in its tone, it's a fairly easy read in small chunks.

This author has encountered more than her fair share of controversy, particularly directed from the FMS groups. Perhaps not all of her theories are on the mark, but reading this book helped me feel less like an insane monster and much more human.

Chapters include:

- First Glance at Trauma
- Terror
- Rage
- Denial and Numbing
- Unresolved Grief
- Shame and Guilt
- Misperception
- Time Goes Awry
- Remembering Trauma
- School Work and Fantasy Work
- Repeated Dreams
- Post-traumatic Reenactment
- Treatment

Some of the quotes which impacted me most were:

"Psychic trauma" occurs when a sudden, unexpected, overwhelmingly intense emotional blow or series of blows assaults the person from outside. Traumatic events are external, but they quickly become incorporated into the mind. A person probably will not become fully traumatized unless he or she feels utterly helpless during the event or events." p8

"Traumatic fright is unique. And it is remembered. The fright from trauma is so special that we don't even have a "right" word for it in english." p37

"Psychic numbing occurs when horrors are extreme, long-standing, variable, and repeated--in other words, when a state of horror becomes predictable." p 80

"If you scare a child badly enough, he will be traumatized -- plain and simple. But if you combine the trauma with a death or a new disability, then you will see depression, paranormal thinking, and/or character change -- count on it." p107

"Horrible experience creates permanent mental pictures. Vivid ones. Moving picutres.... The memory of trauma is shot with higher intensity light than is ordinary memory. And the film doesn't seem to disintegrate with the usual half-life of ordinary film." p 170

Sage

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